


Just Keep Swimming

by sevansa



Series: A fishie once told me [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Give Lance a hug 2k17, Hurt/Comfort, Jumping to Conclusions, Lance is a mermaid, Mentions of self-harm, Merman?, Misunderstandings, Shiro is such a great guy please give him a break, Suspicions, Team as Family, space cerebrus, vaguely amphibious person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-11
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-10-02 19:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10225427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevansa/pseuds/sevansa
Summary: Shiro thinks Lance's hiding something big, he was right. Except, it really wasn't what he expected it to be.//Or the one in which Shiro worries and Lance is totally not a fish.





	

It starts with subtle observations. things that he would normally ignore and write off, but now that he was their acting commanding officer, he was duty bound to notice those things. Those kids were his responsibility whether he wanted to or not and he would be damned if he didn't do everything he could to make this terrible situation a little bit more tolerable.

Shiro had always been an observant person. It was one of his many talents, and spending a large amount of his time with the likes of Keith before the Kerberos mission helped hone this skill to a fine degree, and now he was using that particular skill set in making sure that his charges are functioning properly.

That usually includes things like zeroing in on the fact that Pidge is planning to stay up all night to finish whatever project she'd started and promptly wrangling her into bed at a decent hour ( plus hide her electronics... well, whatever works, he says ) , or maybe checking the training deck if he haven't seen keith for more than two hours, since he'd probably be overworking himself, punching the shit out of training bots, and getting the shit punched out of him in turn.

At those points of time he starts thinking of Hunk and Lance as blessings, sure they could be a handful at times, but they had a healthy respect for their bodies and so do not usually engage in harmful activities (Hunk's food experimentation notwithstanding... nor does Lance's flirting) Sure sometimes he has to talk Hunk through an anxiety attack but lately those have decreased greatly, and it's never a bother to help the big guy.

Lance on the other hand doesn't seem to require any help in taking care of himself... or that's what he thought, at the beginning... And he would have continued thinking that way if it wasn't for that one particular situation.

They'd just been put through the grinder courtesy of an Allura approved training session and all of them were seconds away from passing out. Lance was complaining about the inhumane and cruel treatment, and why was the castle-ship so hot anyway? shouldn't a fancy space castle thingy at least have a heat regulator? And with that being said he proceeded with rolling his sleeves.

Honestly it was such an innocent little gesture which shouldn't have alluded to anything.

But- but at that particular second, Shiro happened to be looking over at them and he noticed that Lance's wrists were covered, both of them.

ًًWhich... okay he admits his imagination might be overly active but the first thing his brain jumped to was cutting.

He'd known of some people at the Garrison who used to cut, some of them would bare the long healed scars with pride... some would cover them the same way Lance covered his wrists.

Shiro felt dread pooling at the pit of his stomach, Was Lance cutting? was he depressed? Suicidal? The questions kept rolling through his brain, his mind coming up with progressively horrendous scenarios by the second.

He continued studying Lance the doubt making its way through his system causing an ugly feeling to rise in his chest.

Lance didn't seem depressed though. his mind supplied. he turned his gaze back to the paladins.

Lance seems to have gotten over his exhaustion just to start annoying Pidge, saying something with that ridiculous expression that was surely to get him a punch in the face ,and yup, there it was, Pidge's face twisted as she readied to jab her thumb into his unsuspecting stomach, Hunk besides them trying to no avail to stop Pidge from turning Lance into a human pincushion. Keith seemed to find the whole situation hilarious and was amusing himself with watching The mock fight a little smirk on his face.

Honestly in any other context, Shiro would say that today was one of their better days, everyone seemed relaxed and happy to goof off. But the wrist wrappings were suspicious to say the least.

No. he would not jump to conclusions, Shiro decided.

He would just watch Lance closer, look for signs that something wasn't right.

And if he was suicidal surely Hunk would know about it? Like Hunk was a really good person but he had serious privacy issues, and Hunk was smart, if there was anything worth getting alarmed for, he would surely tell Shiro.

With that last reassuring thought, he turned back to the Paladins whose fight somehow evolved into a pile of intertwined limbs as Keith had been roped into the mess and Hunk was trying to stop the other three from strangling the other.

They were laughing though, so it was all in good fun.

Shiro smiled, they were- they were really good.

"Come on guys, enough of this." he said using his best leader voice -or dad voice- as Lance would say.

"But Shiro!" Lance whined, an arm stretching ready to make whatever point he wanted clear, only for Pidge to bite the outstretched hand, just to be a little shit.

Lance yelped and the other two lost it, Shiro was trying his best not to chuckle as well.

"Enough you guys, get to the showers, Coran said food will be ready in ten quintants" Groans erupted from all around him as he put a stop to their play, and they all dragged their feet off towards the bathrooms, the promise of Coran's food not appetizing in the slightest.

Shiro rolled his eyes good naturedly, and headed to his own room to clean up.

___

Everyone was eating their food goo with a sort of hurried unenthusiasm that could be only produce due to the intense training they have been put through.

Allura was chattering with Coran about their next destination, she looked around at her tired paladins and beamed, seeming to take their exhaustion as a sign of pride.

"Where is Lance?" She directed the question to everyone, a questioning look on her face. The space mice looking up from where they were fighting over the scrapes to glance over as well.

It was only then that Shiro noticed that ,Yes, the blue Paladin was nowhere in sight.

Shiro sighed. "I'll go look for him" he said.

It wasn't the first time a Paladin fell asleep in the shower and probably wouldn't be the last, best go save him from drowning now while he still could, the others nodded their ascent, no one making a big deal of it seeing as it literally was a weekly occurrence.

Knocking on the Blue Paladin's door, he was met with complete silence. Shiro frowned but entered in the code to override the lock and stepped inside the bedroom, it was as messy as ever, Lance somehow managing to make the small space as homey as possible in the short few months they'd spent in space. The adjoining bathroom door was locked, Shiro knocked.

"Lance?" he called loudly, no answer. Though the sound of running water could have easily masked his voice.

He tried again calling louder this time, knocking once more. There was a splash inside, and again, no answer.

Shiro's brow furrowed.

What exactly was happening inside? Another splash and Shiro called Lance's name louder, there was a muffled curse from inside and he was starting to get worried.

"Lance, are you okay?"

"J-just a sec!" was called out from inside a frantic note to his voice.

"Is everything alright in there?"

There was a crash and a pained yelp, Shiro's worry skyrocketed.

"Lance, I'm coming in." he called out.

"NO!"

It was yelled with such vehemence that it stopped the older man in his tracks.

"What's going on in there Lance?" he questioned , Galra hand on the door knob ready to go against the blue paladin's wishes.

"No-nothing, just gimme a second, Quiznak" The curse was whispered softly. vehemently.

"Lance, open this door now." He was starting to feel like an actual father, his earlier thoughts were making their way once again through his mind , was Lance cutting in there? should he open the door?

He did, deciding that Lance's possible ire is a logical price to pay in the face of possibly stopping Lance from harming himself except the door was slammed back too fast for him to get a good look at the person inside.

"Hey! I said gimme a second man! I'm naked." the excuse slipped all too easily from the tanned boy's lips.

Shiro resisted the urge to bash his head on the door. He knew he was being pushy. But- it was his job to worry. His duty.

Barely 10 ticks later the door was opened again and Shiro was greeted with the sight of a fully dressed, if somewhat rumpled paladin.

"What were you doing inside lance?" he questioned, not unkindly.

"Uh? taking a bath? sorry boss-man lost track of the time that's all." he says a sheepish grin making its way across his face.

Shiro raised an eyebrow to communicate his disbelief, and raked his eyes over the paladin, noticing that the long sleeves were firmly in place, the neck of the shirt stretched a bit showing a bit of his shoulder, and Shiro's eye zeroed on the dark line over brown neck , stretching round the base of the neck.

Lance rambling came to a halt as he seemed to notice where Shiro's eye were fixated, his hand quickly slapped over his neck hiding the dark line from view.

He met Shiro's eyes with his own. His blue eyes were wider than usual and were darting all over the place.

"What's that?" Shiro asks.

"I-It's a uh- BIRTHMARK! yes! it's a birthmark I've had it all my life." he said, totally unconvincing. "We're late for dinner we should hurry, man! I wonder what Coran's prepared. I'm starving, are you starving?" the words fall out in a continuous stream and Shiro wonders absently at the different pitches and crescendos that his voice manages to reach.

With that said, Lance makes his way as fast as he could towards the dining room, and no, he was not fleeing no matter what anyone might say.

Shiro watched him go, frown deepening, the abstract suspicion actually solidifying and opening a pit in his chest.

This did not look like a birthmark-it looked- it looked like a scar, an old one at that.

____

Shiro does not confront Lance about his suspicion, he'd admit that it is part cowardice from his direction, he is unsure what he should do in this situation. whether he should bring this to anyone else's attention.

But he knows that these are all speculations from his part, for all he knows the neck scar could have been an accident, the bathroom thing could be Lance being body-conscious, hell even the bandages could be some sort of fashion statement, there were other explanations that were logical and did not allude to self harm.

But something inside him just worried, he knew that they were in a less than stellar situation and everyone had their own unhealthy way of coping and it seemed like Lance was the most adjusted of them. But appearances could be very deceiving.

And honestly, better jump to conclusions and stop a potential tragedy than take a back seat when he could have helped. The images of the kids at the garrison that he'd seen suffering but never helped haunt him now, similarly visions of prisoners who'd had enough and decided to take their own lives than to rot inside the prisoner cells, swim across his vision, Shiro shudders.

He would not let Lance be one of the faces he couldn't help.

With that final thought in mind, he moved towards the common room where he knows Lance would be at that time of the day.

Lance was laying on the couch, head cushioned on Hunk's thigh, watching his friend fiddle with some sort of alien contraption, occasionally asking Hunk a question just to listen to his friend's excited voice.

Shiro watches them for a while before steeling himself for a confrontation. Lance noticed him before he could even say anything.

"Hey Shiro!" he calls out raising a hand in a lazy greeting. Shiro spies the edges of clean white bandages.

Shiro sends him a smile, "Hey Lance, may I speak with you for a moment?" Lance gets a strange look at his face and even Hunk stops his tinkering to send Shiro an unreadable look.

"uh- Totally yeah-" he rights himself up and Hunk sends him a look to which Lance simply shakes his head to.

Shiro decided not to ask.

Lance follows him dutifully, suspiciously silent. The whole thing was probably rubbing him wrong. Shiro however was not in the proper frame of mind to sooth him as he himself was much too frazzled. But he had to do it. He had to be sure.

Thus both of them stewed in the awkward silence as Shiro found himself subconsciously lengthening his strides, to just get this the hell over with.

When they finally reached an observation room off-ways from where everyone usually gathered, Lance was a little out of breathe.

Shiro sent him an apologetic look.

"You know, if you wanted to have me all to yourself you could have just said so." Lance said his voice dropping low in what he probably thought was a seductive manner.

Shiro huffed out a laugh. "What, and deprive all the ladies?"

Lance's eyes widened and a surprised grin overtook his face, he threw his head back hooting in laughter.

"You got me there man!" somehow Shiro didn't think the comment warranted that much enthusiasm but he never really understood Lance all that well, guess he'd leave that to another day.

Lance seemed to sense the change in the mood and quieted down.

Shiro sat down. Suddenly, his prosthetic felt much heavier than it actually was.

He patted the couch next to him, and Lance gingerly perched over it, as if readying himself to bolt if he felt too threatened.

That did not make Shiro feel good about himself at all.

"Lance we have to talk."

A beat of silence. Another.

"Look man whatever it is, just tell me yeah? you're scaring me." The admission seemed to take a lot of him, His voice was uncharacteristically somber, and Shiro could see that he was making the younger man nervous, he was fidgeting, eyes darting everywhere.

Shiro opened his mouth intending to just get it over with and ask, but the words stuck.

"Are you- Are you like- Kicking me off the team? 'cause I know I didn't do that well in practice today? and I know I'm not good enough, but man if you're gonna do it, would you please make it quick?" he said, voice halting and small.

Shiro's eyes widened.

"WHAT? no! Lance, Gods above, no, What?" At Shiro's honest surprise, Lance just leaned back seeming to sink into the couch.

"Oh. I uh Knew that already, Ha ha, 'course you wouldn't kick me off the team, I mean who wouldn't want such a brilliant specimen as a defender of the universe?"

Gods, that boy, he could have had a brilliant future as an actor- or a conman, pick your poison.

"No, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about, Why would you even think that?" Shiro's surprise was palpable and honestly Lance looked as if he wished the floor would crack and swallow him into the abyss.

"So- uh what did you want to talk about?" totally disregarding the second part of the question.

The self deprecating comments, he could not let go. He wouldn't, he just needs to get the question out in the open before his chest explodes.

Deciding that the best course of action is to be as blunt as possible.

"Lance, Are you hurting yourself?" he asked voice soft, expression open and so fucking sincere.

Lance's eyes widened.

"What?"

"Are you harming yourself? is that why you cover your wrists?"

"No! oh my god! no, you think I'm- I'm- I'm not- not cutting, man what? Why would you even think that?"

Shiro leaned back, relief warring with embarrassment. It did not sound like Lance was lying and for that at least he was grateful

" Then what about-" he asked gesturing towards the wrist and the neck scar. He had to make absolutely sure Lance's hand automatically rose to cover the base of his neck, even if it was already hidden behind his shirt collar.

"It's nothing like that Shiro I swear, it's just uh-" he trailed off, face closing off.

Shiro's own hand was rubbing his neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions Lance. But, you know you could tell me anything right? I will not judge you, you are after all our precious blue paladin."

Shiro added not forgetting the earlier comments.

Lance flushed, and that was another thing Shiro noticed, Lance always flushed when receiving compliments, always.

But he was lowering his face avoiding eye contact.

"It's nothing to worry 'bout Shiro I promise." he finally said forcing a wobbly smile.

Shiro's shoulder sagged, and he nodded accepting defeat.

"If you're sure then. the offer still stands Lance, you could talk to me anytime, about anything."

He stands up, and looks down at the blue paladin who still wouldn't meet his gaze. he steps closer and ruffles his short hair, marveling at the softness, Lance squawks under him, his hands coming up to hold the older man's wrist.

"Oh, and don't sell yourself short Paladin, we wouldn't even dream of finding someone else to pilot Blue as well as you do." Lance stills at that, he looks up at Shiro from under his lashes.

"You-you really mean that?" the wobbly voice was back.

Shiro smiles down at him, "Of course I do" And suddenly he had a handful of lanky limbs engulfing him in a hug, He let out a surprised 'oomph' but quickly warps his own arms around the younger boy, enjoying the sensation.

Lance's voice came out muffled from where he had his face tucked into the broad chest, but Shiro understood him regardless.

"Anytime buddy, anytime."

_____

Just because Lance didn't want to talk about it doesn't mean he couldn't theorize on his own and with self-harm being out of the equation, Shiro was honestly stumped.

He knew it was something, Lance's reaction showed that at the very least, but he honestly had no idea on what it could even be

.

.

.

.

It all came to heed at that one innocuous mission, seriously it was supposed to be a routine recon mission, they all went planet-side taking the mission as an excuse to get out of the castle-ship it was brilliant and all but close quarters were not something any of them enjoyed for longer than they absolutely had to. The planet was supposedly empty of sentient life, according to Coran, it was a collection of islands scattered across an ocean, it even smelt like an actual ocean the whole thing was vaguely therapeutic and sent a pang of nostalgia through his chest.

He heard Lance giving a large whoop as he caught sight of the deep blue ocean, calm and majestic.

He turned to see hunk holding Lance back by the nape of his shirt, halting his hurried motion towards the vast expanse.

"We don't know if it's safe man." Hunk was explaining patiently to a pouting Lance.

Shiro grinned at the sight , "Don't worry Lance I'll go ask Coran to scan it, if it turned to be safe, you'll get to swim as much as you want, yeah?" Shiro's tone was awfully placating.

Lance perked up so fast, sometimes he wonders if the kid got an emotional whiplash.

"You'd do that boss-man? Thanks!" Even Hunk was sending him a thankful look, still supporting Lance's weight with one hand. Shiro waved them off and made his way back towards the Ship.

And that, probably was where he went wrong.

He knew ,goddamnit, that they were not to be left alone without adult (or what passed as adult) supervision. The four of them were literal trouble magnets. But for what it's worth. The whole thing was completely incidental.

Pidge was exploring, as she was wont to do at times, Keith following her as they theorized on the possibility of life on the planet, they caught sight of some sort of paw prints on the mud, obviously, they had to follow it.

Suffice to say, Shiro was only half way back through the entrance when he heard the screams.

What he was met with was absolute chaos.

Hunk had Pidge thrown over one shoulder and was running away from what looked like a three headed dog form hell, another one was barking up a tree that Keith was hiding on, somehow none of them had their Bayards out, for once listening to Allura's instructions about not harming the local species and fauna.

Lance however had lost his jacket somewhere along the way, and had a large bleeding gash over his abdomen, he too was running away from the large black dog, in fact he was running fucking towards the shallow cliff-face, and before Shiro could even get a word in edge wise, Lance fucking jumped.

He _jumped._

Shiro's heart stopped for a second and everything seemed to blank.

The dog started barking down at the dark ocean depth, before it slinked away thinking it's job done, Shiro finally unstuck his feet and ran towards the cliff-face his eyes scanning over the dark surface, looking for any sign of the paladin, but there was nothing, absolutely nothing.

Lance was bleeding ,God, he was bleeding, in the fucking ocean that was the exact recipe for death.

Panic was the predominant emotion, as he quickly got rid of his shoes and was just about to jump in, because Lance was not coming up for air, and God he would not let him die on his watch no, not- not from something like this.

Large hands wrapped around his arm, and Shiro turned back blindly, his Galra arm activating subconsciously his mind a mantra of save, save, protect, get rid of anything stopping him from helping his- his charge.

"Woah" Hunk lets go of his arm, his own hands rising in a placating gesture. Shiro's face twisted. Why was Hunk stopping him from saving Lance? "I have to get him Hunk he's not coming up"

"Uh- yeah about that." and something about that tone stopped him in his tracks.

"What?" he asked impatiently, but something about hunk's unhurried and unworried posture made him slow down.

But it has been more than five minutes now and Lance has not surfaced once. His heart squeezed, it was hard to breathe.

Waiting on an explanation he stilled.

"Uh-Lance was wounded?" Hunk said slowly as if that explained everything.

And that would probably seem like Hunk was giving up on Lance but something was off about his tone. He seemed sheepish, rubbing a hand through his hair as he fidgeted slightly in place.

"He -really -really didn't want me to tell you." He said again.

"Tell me what?!" he was getting impatient and every second more without a familiar head breaking the surface was another year shaved off his life.

Keith and Pidge seemed to have ridden themselves of their doggy problem and were joining them now, both panting and looking the worse for wear.

Hunk holds his arm once more, looking him dead in the eye,

"First off, Lance is fine." he said it with such an assured confidence, that Shiro had no choice but to believe him.

"- and uh, he'd probably what to talk to you guys once he's out." and there it was the shifty look again.

"How could he be fine Hunk he hasn't come up for air yet!" Shiro was literally seconds away from exploding muscles bulging as he fought against the grip on his bicep, But Hunk's grip was surprisingly strong.

"Yeah... he'll tell you guys everything, I told him, you know, that he should have told you guys way back." He said conversely as if they were having a pleasant garden conversation and not discussing the probability of one of their own drowning and dying a cold miserable death.

"Just trust me."

And Shiro- Shiro did.

What else could he do? the possibility of finding anyone in that wide expanse was almost nil.

They waited in a tense silence, the only one not seeming even vaguely worried was Hunk, Keith was pacing and Pidge was chewing on her lips like a girl on a mission.

It felt like years later, when it was probably no more than 10 minutes when the water surface was finally disturbed.

They lurched forward, Shiro ready to check every inch of the blue paladin and cart him off towards the cryopods.

But Lance was... he was different.

He felt his jaw falling, and heard similar gasps of surprise from beside him. 'cause the one in front of him was Lance, there is no mistaking it- but - he was... different.

Lance came to a halt in front of them, his torso bare and sides covered in bright clue scales, there were slits between each rib, and what he first assumed were scars were actually what looked like fucking gills, the wrists weren't covered now, and yep, more blue scales, even his eyes were different, the pupils expanded to overtake the whole cornea, but the longer he stayed above the surface, the fainter they became, slowly reverting to their normal human form.

Shiro knew he was gaping, he could feel the amusement rolling off hunk in waves.

"Uh... sur-prise?" Lance was the one to break the stunned silence. his voice breaking a bit and seeming to warble. he clears his throat.

More silence.

Finally Hunk broke down, heaving in laughter "Oh- my god! your faces!"

That seemed to break the spell.

"What the fuck man?"

"Language Pidge." Shiro said absently still staring at the pretty blue scales, the contrast between them and the dark skin was- stunning.

They seemed to lose their vibrancy the longer he stayed in the fresh air though and right before his eyes, they turned into the same color as his skin leaving only an impression of a rough skin patch.

"Yeah...so that's a thing." he says rubbing wet strands away from his face.

"You're a fish?" Keith asks eyebrows raised in honest surprise.

Lance splutters! "Fish! I'm not a- _a fish!_ \- I happen to be a very attractive Merman thank you very much." He says with such indignation in his voice that Shiro had to laugh as well.

"Which is basically a half-fish." He points out good-naturedly.

At this point, he fails to be surprised any more.

"You- you guys don't think it's weird?" Lance asks, voice small.

Shiro hates the way it sounds.

"Hey, we're piloting huge color-coded space-lions I don't think anything could be weirder than that." Shiro says, voice intentionally light.

"It is kinda cool." Keith admits reluctantly.

And Lance turns his wide blue eyes at them both, a grin overtaking his features.

"See bro, told you they wouldn't care." Hunk says, jostling him playfully.

" How could you not tell me!" Pidge explodes, "Do you know who I would have killed to get actual proof for a mermaid's existence and there you are! living and breathing next to me and you didn't even have the gall to tell me!"

"Uh sorry?" his eyebrows knotted themselves and looked over at the seething green paladin, "To be fair, Mama would have probably killed me for telling you guys if we were back on earth. The only reason Hunk knows is 'cause he's nosy af-" he said, ignoring Hunk's indignant 'hey!' "- and we'd known each other since we were like babies dude."

"Wait what about the- the wound?" Shiro asks, clearly remembering the blood on the tattered shirt.

"Uh yeah, Water man, it heals so much. My sister, Mariana, would probably know the whole actual mechanism I just know the important crap you know!" he grins.

"So the scars were-"

"Gills." Lance states.

"God, I feel so stupid, I'm so sorry Lance."

"Hey man, none of that, It's sweet, that you care you know..." He trails off bashfully, and Shiro's own face colors.

"You have to let me study you!" The little gremlin was suddenly invading his space. Lance jerks backwards.

"Nu-uh dude I draw the line at being your lab rat."

"Oh come on! just a bit it won't hurt I promise!" She turns her puppy eyes at him pleadingly.

"You know, all my nightmares as a kid started up like that." He states wryly.

Pidge rolls her eyes. "It's nothing invasive, Promise."

Lance still eyes her warily but another look at those wide, innocent eyes have him caving like the pathetic push-over he was.

"Fine" he breathes out.

"Woah! you actually got him to agree!" Hunk points out, amazed.

"I have a feeling you're gonna regret that." Keith points out.

"You and me both buddy, you and me both."

.

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Guys! Thank you so much for reading this far! hopefully you guys enjoyed this just as much as i did writing it, it was such a ridiculous thought i just had to share it with everyone, but there you go! mermaid!lance. Anyway, I greatly appreciate every comment, kudo and subscribe, so thank you again for making my day <3  
> Oh and you guys could find me on tumblr as sevansarr  
> have a great day!  
> -sevansa


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